


This Fanfic Was Written By An AI (For Reals)

by seasalt (lawboy)



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, alcohol ment, kinda incesty at one bit so warning for that, this is just super dumb and nonsensical
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-24 23:01:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22125898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lawboy/pseuds/seasalt
Summary: I put a three-sentence prompt into the AI Talk to Transformer, and it generated a chunk of fanfiction in response. Then I took the last three sentences of that and put it back in the generator. And then I did it again. And again. And I eventually had to stop because it forgot this was about Steven Universe.
Relationships: Amethyst/Pearl (Steven Universe), Garnet/Pearl (Steven Universe)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	This Fanfic Was Written By An AI (For Reals)

**Author's Note:**

> The initial prompt is in bold. Everything besides that, I did not write and I take no credit for.

**“We’re all so proud of you, Steven.” Said Garnet.**

**Steven smiled. After six years of hard work, he was finally graduating high school. Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl and his dad had all come to celebrate with him.** They had all made sacrifices to get this far and now they were finally getting some reward. It was a very cool night, full of food, balloons and dancing.

"I had to get something to keep me occupied." Steven said as he took his mixtape out of his pocket.

"Keep your mixtape and tell me later." Garnet said, handing him his brand new baby boom box.

Steven kept his eye on the news, specifically the programs they had been watching.

"Hey, uh, Amethyst." Steven said when she turned to look at him.

"Yeah?" She asked with a nod as she glanced at the camera.

"You should maybe cut down on the drinking, even though it is technically legal." Steven explained as Amethyst just tilted her head.

"I thought that was the case." She replied with a slight smirk as Steven and Garnet were equally as confused.

"You know, why don't you sit with me and show me how you do that?" Connie offered as Garnet and Amethyst exchanged confused glances and glances in turn.

"Don't think I've ever actually been drunk." Amethyst retorted as Connie rolled her eyes.

"Well then let's go grab some drinks." Steven added as they gathered their stuff and went to the kitchen.

"It is late, what would you want to eat?" Connie asked as she picked up the bag of chips she had made a while ago.

"The least we could do is treat ourselves for dessert." Steven smiled as he grabbed the jar of ausBergamot and grabbed the slice of strawberries.

"We can't have a spare minute before the concert." Amethyst commented as she started sipping her wine.

"I mean it will be the best time to visit a friend and I can't ask Connie to wait for me at the library."

Steven looked at her surprised.

"But I wanted to call her and say hi!"

Steven quickly sighed in relief. "Good! She must be starting her first period soon."

"I suppose." Amethyst smiled, eating the rest of her beer. "For me to ask someone to wait for me, that's a lot easier than asking him to do it."

"Is it?" Steven glanced over at Connie. "Do you think we're being unfair?"

"It's just… We're not exactly friends, you know?" She shrugged. "We're not really close friends either. Friends would accept my friend request. Even if he doesn't want to, Steven does."

"I'll say." Pearl smiled. "This is the way I've always pictured it. Something between friends. As we say in the Gems' language, it means 'you too'. I've always wanted a girlfriend of my own."

"And that's what we're going to be," Amethyst said.

Pearl froze, watching Amethyst's confidence in her chest. It was contagious. Pearl watched Amethyst give her an animated look.

"We can't hide who we are," Pearl said.

"Pardon me," Garnet said from down the hall, "I cannot hear you."

"I'm a listener," Pearl said. "I can hear you. I'd be careful on this one."

Garnet gave a short laugh and rolled her eyes. "Whatever." She rubbed her temples. "I suppose I need to make amends for all those times I tried to change my mind."

"No, I don't think you have to," Pearl said. "I'm fine."

Garnet sighed. "I'm quite bothered by all of this. This isn't going to end well."

"Look, Garnet, you've been trying to manipulate me for years," Pearl said. "It's a common trait among manipulators ."

"Well, this isn't about manipulation." Garnet turned to place her hands on Pearl's shoulders. "This is about us being the two of us, right?"

Pearl looked down at Garnet, her eyes coming to meet those soft but determined brown orbs. She looked into Garnet's blue gaze and felt as if everything she'd ever believed about her older sister was true: that she was a woman of rare and powerful conviction. She also felt safe with the first real contact she'd had with her long-lost sibling.

Her gaze flicked to the two with a small blush, taking in the way they were playing with the sand.

They were a little rough-housing, Pearl immediately noticed, as she turned to see how hurt she'd made them.

"I'm so sorry," she said with the most genuine and sincere apology Pearl had ever heard. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Sorry I don't wanna be taken out to lunch with you, but I'm not going back to the road again," Garnet told her quietly. "It's been too long, and..." she fell silent.

Pearl couldn't see her expression, but she could tell that she was very sad.

"You're not sorry about Pearl?" Steven asked, walking over and patting her shoulder.

"Nope," Garnet agreed.

"But do you have a tear in your eye?"

"Not a tear..." Garnet whispered.

Steven nodded sadly.

"Because I know you..." Pearl whispered. "I know how good you are, how smart you are, how strong you are. I just... the last thing I needed was someone so clueless to help us!"

"I know." Garnet said. "I just..."

Pearl leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss on Garnet's lips.

"I know everything that you're thinking. Everything that's going on, that I'm thinking, that it's probably what my mom, why she always tells me to look out for myself."

Garnet shook her head. "You don't have to tell me anything."

Pearl smiled gently. "I always know what you're thinking. I always do."

"That's not what I'm saying." Garnet's voice was as calm and soothing as Garnet had ever heard it.

"You don't have to listen to me."

Pearl looked at her. "I'm not listening to anything you're saying."

Garnet touched her head. "Then you don't have to."

Pearl breathed into Garnet's ear, causing the gem to stir. Garnet woke up and flinched. "Yeah," she said, "not listening. Whatever."

Pearl grabbed a condom from the counter and kissed her on the lips. "Do you want it?"

"Yes." Pearl turned away and left the store, grabbing a bottle of pills and the pouch she used to carry Garnet's birth control. She walked over to the counter and turned to Garnet. "So you just want to call it a night and get to the airport? Who do you think you are? You're the one that set off this situation!"

"It's more like-"

"What?"

"Hey, let's play dumb," Garnet stated, her voice thin.

"So you're calling it a night and thinking about getting to the airport?"

"Exactly."

"Really?"

Garnet's eyes widened, but she stuck to her story.

Beryl sat next to Lapis at the table. "She just said-"

"What?" Lapis snickered.

"She just said she was going to apologise."

"For what?"

"For making fun of her horn, as much as she is, she's just so indecisive that I'm scared to put it in the weapon."

A chill ran up Aparine's spine. Her stomach dropped when she noticed the look of utter bewilderment on the burning blonde's face.

"So I'll just do it for her," the unicorn murmured, her horn glowing brightly in the dim light. She held the polished shaft in front of her eyes, then sighed. "And there, that should help."

"Well, I can't say I am really 'sure' of anything, but that'll be just fine," the other unicorn murmured. She walked around, appearing to rub a bit of dust on the bottom of the wand, before she came back to face her partner. "Perhaps you two should have a little talk before something like this happens again."

The unicorn rubbed her chin thoughtfully, and slowly inclined her head. "I suppose we should." She said, her horn flicking, forming a small column of flame on her horn's tip.

Velvet's horn lit up, and she shot out a burst of green flame. She hurled it at the unicorn, who retaliated with a burst of blue and orange flames. Velvet returned fire, and waited until the spires had faded back into the ground before she spoke.

"It's on. Get to it." She commanded, and as the vortex formed, the remaining swine backed away.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Renan swirled around the open area with practiced grace, having spent the entire battle looping back and forth.


End file.
